Rabbi's Message: An Adult B'nai Mitzvah Story
Nine Adult B’nai Mitzvah Find Their Place and Their Voice in a Challenging Time
On a recent Shabbat, nine members of the PJTC community not only found their own place within our tradition that they had been searching for; they each found their own voice in the grand chorus of the Jewish people throughout time.
These are the feelings expressed by our just-celebrated Adult B’nai Mitzvah class as we gathered for them to talk about their experience of two years of study, preparation, and soul-searching together, culminating in their leading Shabbat services on February 19 and 20.
Cantor Ruth and I couldn’t be more proud of our students for what they accomplished and for their personal growth along the way. We also couldn’t have imagined that the course of study would have been interrupted by a global pandemic, nor that the class would have persisted and persevered to complete the program despite all the obstacles of the past year.
“I was bracing myself to be let down” after the original celebration date was postponed and the service was planned for Zoom instead of in the sanctuary, one student shared, “but that was not my experience at all. Instead, I was unprepared for being overwhelmed by the love of the moment” of our Adult B’nai Mitzvah Shabbat celebration.
There are many Jews who do not celebrate becoming B’nai Mitzvah at our customary young age for a variety of reasons: conversion to Judaism as an adult, a secular upbringing, or pre-egalitarian customs of their families, to name a few. In my experience as a rabbi, Jews like this sometimes feel somehow deficient in their status as Jewish adults. One woman I worked with, who had been a Jewish teacher for decades, thought she wasn’t allowed to wear a tallit because she never had a Bat Mitzvah celebration. To be clear: All Jewish adults are by definition B’nai Mitzvah, meaning, of age to be held responsible for one’s own words and actions in the Jewish community; this is true whether they have the traditional celebration or not. Celebrating B’nai Mitzvah is not a test you have to pass to be a “full” Jew, and not celebrating it at the “usual” time is no failure on anyone’s part.
Nevertheless, many Jewish adults find the rigorous experience of preparing to lead prayers on behalf of the community, chant Torah
and Haftarah, and share their own interpretations of our shared texts in a D’var Torah to be an incredibly meaningful process and a step on their Jewish journey they are extremely proud of. That’s why I was delighted to partner with Cantor Ruth in my early days at PJTC to help this class prepare for such a holy moment of honor and pride as their recent celebration turned out to be, despite the challenges we faced along the way.
“This was one of the most challenging years to embark on an Adult B’nai Mitzvah experience,” Cantor Ruth said. “The pandemic and its challenges constantly reminded us of the lack of control we have over the world. Our students had to make constant adjustments to the unknown. I was extremely proud that they navigated all the challenges with grace and dedication, and I believe the tangible fragility of this world made them even more invested in attaching themselves to our traditions. I’m proud to say they are all now committed to continuing with their growth as Jews. Becoming B’nai Mitzvah was not just checking the box for them, but a step up in their journey that cannot be erased.”
Mazal tov to the Class of 5781: Carol Zorn Bourland, Michele Browning, Betsy Kahn, Cathy Krasner, Carey McIntosh, Barbara McQuiston, Adriana Quinn, Molly Stein, and Joe Widman. Now, if you are inspired by their accomplishment and want to take this big step yourself, please don’t hesitate to contact me or Cantor Ruth and let us know. We are excited to help you on your own Jewish journey.
Rabbi John Carrier
